A Hurricane is Brewin

Why Bar Bets No Longer Work

Intruder Alert!

Hurricane Visionary demolished my fortress of solitude today. It is slowly being re-built. Visionary, it seems, is planning a whopping art show in a few days at the North End Gallery. He descended onto stage cool-zero with sweeping glances into the very corners of the hall. Nothing escaped his glance and inclusion into a grand plan: A trueimpresario. Planning what will be a great production. I have been blessed. Be there!

And now silence has re-entered the fortress — We may begin:

Bar Bets: Here’s the thing about bar bets. They are conversation starters. You are supposed to pay for the conversation. That’s what a bar bet is all about. So when I went to the Palate of Plew’s Brews and saw a micro-brew with the work ‘merkin’ in the name, I knew I had struck ‘bar bet’ heaven. A merkin is a pretty odd and disgusting thing. I can’t think of a reason why someone would ever need a wig for pubic hair.

Me: I’ll bet that no one here knows what the word ‘merkin’ means. Buy me a beer and I’ll tell you.

Them: Oh, no… Let’s look it up on the internet. There’s a hurricane a-brewin with our appetite for information.

All the cell phones come out, Great God Google downsizes Jim’s once in a lifetime bar-bet and 30 seconds later: They all groan: “Yuch, that’s disgusting”

Now everybody in the bar is now chatting amiably about the fact that merkin refers to a wig for pubic hair. Ha ha. I am not sure about the wisdom of having a brew called ‘merkin’, but it gives you the opportunity to say “Gimme a firkin of merkin” which would be a cask of 72 pints of the brew.

The upshot of this?Friend, if you and I met more often here, they’d have a nicer clientele. Show me your best bar bet, OK?

I have just been handed a Late Breaking Flash! TheSatvikAngel’s are coming to nest at theNW Resource Centeron Lombard: They are announcing “Free at Three” — Every Friday at 3PM till it’s gone, these angels will have delicious, nourishing home cooked free food for anyone.

Just remember these words: Everyone. Free at Three. Friday.Resource Center.

Why? Why! There’s a Hurricane a-brewin’ and these Earth Angels areMajor!

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