King St. John's Jim

I just got to the James John Cafe. I took out my ‘puter for a writing session, sat down. I looked up to find someone in a bear costume with a blue t-shirt that says: "Dental Ben." Ben is dancing to entertain kids. There are no kids. Ben can’t see out of the tiny holes in his bear mask and dances anyway. Dancing Bears are not allowed in St. John’s. Joe Rilla, the bouncer, tells Ben: "Our speakeasy license won’t allow for dancing, come back when you can keep yourself under control." And then throws Ben into the street in the pouring rain.

The sun comes out and Ben is totally dry before he hits the pavement. Oregon weather is changeable. The News Weathermen walk around town with rain gauges, stop every 10 feet and ask: "Is it raining yet?" Yes, rain and cold. Lots of both.

It’s phlegm season in Oregon. Another thing in great abundance in the PNW. (Yes, I’ll be reporting from Flemm Fest 2010, too: The Loogies will be playing. It used to be "Tobacco Wad and The Loogies," Tobacco Wad’s career went down in smoke in theCancer Scareof the late 1900’s. This century, we will be told that Cancer is a good thing.)

So the forecast is for phlegm with occasional cement in the joints, until next April. Only theTropic of Oregonis immune, somehow. I think it’s the worm tea, but don’t quote me on that.

As I passed Bamboo Willy’s place this morning, I noticed his (her?)giant webhad been washed away by the rain. A sad loss for our favorite in the "catch-em-wrap-em" event of SpiderFest 2010. TheWillow twinson N St. John’s Ave are currently in the lead.

I’m not the only one who pays attention to spiders. We got people who pay attention to them. Important people. People like Tommy over at Gunas Lp. He is concerned that the Mountain Spiders will come down and play catch-em-wrap-em with his Ski-Doos and ATV’s. He says the big boats and the Corvette are too heavy for the spiders to lift, and he isn’t worried about them. Southwick tried to tell Tommy that spiders only want living flesh, but Tommy wasn’t convinced: "Basically, we are talking a whole different spider. And stop talking that Latin shit: ‘Arachno Ursus;’ Nobody’s gonna know what you’re talkin about. Mom called ‘em Grizzly Spinners, you know, Bear Spiders, the big ones. They come out of the trees and work in teams." Tommy pays attention to the spiders, too.

There are other people who pay attention to nature: Norman. Norman watches squirrels. He knows their lives, their likes, dislikes. He knows that for proper aroma a seed has to be licked three times before it is buried. He watches the blue-jays and the squirrels battle in the "hide the acorn" war. The Jays rule the daytime with their aerial attacks, and the squirrels have midnight raids on the Jay’s strongholds. Norman sides with the squirrels. Norman is safe, the jays don’t know where he lives.Friend, I would not want the jays to know where I live.

Friend, thanks for helping with my writing experiment: e-mail stories. E-mail has some opportunities for expression that few writers have explored. I get to do that from my table at the James John Cafe. One thing, is that I can ask what you works, and what doesn’t. Are these too short? Too long? I’d like to get more explicit with Tommy’s rants, but beware, he really does say some wild things.

So,Friend– do you want to just reply with your feedback? Or would you be more at ease with a web forum? Let me know.

Ciao for Now – St. John’s Jim