Put the Blood of the Lamb in Your Throat
I have held off ordering the Pork Chops, Grits and Eggs at the James John Cafe for about five or six days. Friends: This is the combination of tastes, aromas and textures that turns your mouth into a concert hall. I, St. John’s Jim have so declared.
Today, I can wait no longer. Lust overcomes me and I know what I must have. The comfort food. Only grits and eggs has the power to energize theaka cuttingI do. You know, tending the emotional garden: That’s what Jim is all about:Celarien. Your spirituality is harvested off of the fruits of your emotional garden. Tend it well. Lust is good – drink it in small drops.
So I advise the raining wizard at the counter that I’m deadly serious to my commitment to great chops. He pales. He doesn’t want me to unleash theLions Roar.
Friend, I have an unsolvable moral dilemma.
You see I have had the ex-california shock-jock reply to my last story with the phrase "put the Blood of the Lamb in my Throat" – My visits to spirituality have been abundant, and I’m pretty familiar with the "blood of the lamb" part, but I’m puzzled by the "Throat" part. Clearly it has Biblical Proportions, and my mission on earth as Old Testament Prophet may be finally paying off.
Here is my problem: Is it a blessing or a curse? "Watch out or I’ll put the blood of the lamb in your throat" or worse: "I’ll deep throat you with the Blood of the Lamb" – I’d add that to my "Lion’s Roar" arsenal.
or is it :
Something I’d want on my TombStone: "I put the Blood of the Lamb in the Throats of Billions" – (author’s note: I just had my first bite of the chops – Big Symphony .. Mmmmmmglglgllgl )
I called the local "Speaking in Tongues" translation service of the local "Hookers-for-Christ" service. They transferred me toFireSignTheatre12:34: "And she knew not his hole from an ass in the ground." I require my hookers to speak in complete spiritual sentences,Friend.
Friend, I’m clueless: before I run out and have my new letter head designed, I need to know if it has the appropriatecreepyfactor.
By the way: if you guys have a question for me or Southwick or Tommy, I’ll try to have the reply in the next days story. (Jim: don’t let your promises get you in trouble!)