Skydiving with Lord Ego
The airplane of humanity has the left ailerons voting "up," and the right ailerons pointing "down"
Lord Ego, yes the same Lord Ego who threw water on Walter Cronkite during an interview, ejects from the plane and leaves with:
———- Dateline 2055 New Detroit ————
The late Lord Ego left a series of prerecorded press releases announcing the availability of the Pimp Group’s services. He detailed the plans and time-lines for implementation for services well over a hundred years after his death. So far his uncanny ability to engineer social trends and technical advancement far into the future has yielded seventeen of these new ventures, and a full twelve of them are still profitable.
Here is the transcript of tonights startling announcement:
A very distinguished Lord Ego comes into view. We see sky, horizon, ground and sky again rotating dizzily behind Lord Ego. He is skydiving. The nude supermodel Loch Ness is clinging to his waist.
He speaks: “Hi, I’m Lord Richard Ego and this is Lock Ness. When you see this it will be, nearly 2060 or so. With the mounting social pressures here on earth, I wish to offer Pimp Galaxy! We are creating fully self sufficient solar re-fusioning stations in solar orbit.”
At this moment Loch is overcome by panic as the ground gets ever closer. He continues aside: “Whoa, Nessey! You are a spunky lady. Just give me a moment to finish this and then I’ll pull the ripcord.”
He continues with the announcement: “Each one will accommodate a quarter million people as well as provide energy for good old earth, as you know, we need it. At this time, we have fully 10 of these and are offering one-way passage for a family of 5 at a deal that you will love. Jobs you will love, and a life that lies waiting for you! Thanks and have a great millennium!”
Lord Ego shifts Loch Ness in his arms and the parachute opens at the Lords tug: “Nessie, did I say I was going to pull the cord in time?”
Fifteen years later, Lord Ego’s Pimp Galaxy project was an incredible success, more revelations came somewhat later. It is strange that Lord Ego seemed to miss only one major change in social development: that by 2044 men make up less than 3% of the population and, outside of a few professions, like wine and brewing, have little true social power.
(Author’s note: Some of my readers may have taken my fist of Perhaps, to mean exactly whattheythink it means: the worst. I apologize, because perhaps that is incorrect. But if your feathers get riled, it IS worth thinking about. Or not.
Like this e-mail: some women might get pissed by Lord Ego’s chauvanism – so I put the bit in about males being relegated to minor positions in society to balance. And that might piss off the guys. I really hold neither position, but if you thought I did, you might want you to widen your own views. That’s what laughter is all about, I’m told.)