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OK.  Let’s start giving thanks.  You’ve been doing it all day.   I’m thankful the James John Cafe has the most fabulous food, and that Slim’s has such great fung shui.

Lissen up– This is Tommy from Gunas Lp.  As head of ethics here at Waterfront U, I want to remind you guys to be thankful for the good deal we got.  guaranteed employment.

You guys got all the sludge cleaned up from the Willamette, and we get the water tested next week.  We get paid for the contract to clean up the river.  Be thankful.

So You guys each take a barrel of toxic stuff home wit you.  Then after the test, you guys wanna pour that sludge back into youse toilets.  That means we get to clean up the river next year too.  Be thankful.

Uh, thanks, Tommy, I guess I’m thankful that your ethics are not any lower.  Let’s start with the basics of thanksgiving.

Life.  Health. Food.  Family. The Feeling that even if you don’t know what the future is, you have connections with good people to cheer you through the hard times. As they say on the internet, YMMV – your mileage may vary: your mix of blessings is unique to you.

Southwick says he is thankful that Love Honey has "Half Price Luxury Vibes" for Black Friday!  He also tells me not to forget the bridge.  (Jim, don’t forget thebridge!)

And oh, yes, the bridge.

It has been the Joy of St. John’s for nearly eighty years.  Even Wayne, our hallowed 85 year old barber, does not remember a time when the bridge was not the beacon of beauty and pride.

Thanks for the bridge, for the joy, for the beauty, thanks for the hope.  Those qualities have value.

Bambi from the City Council starts shaking his antlers wildly: "Value?  Did someone say VALUE?  Why didn’t we think of this before!  We need to get hope out of our eyes and into our pockets!

Bambi says "We need to dismantle the Bridge!!"

Bambi is not advocating any useless or spectacular destruction, rather we should take it apart piece by piece and sell it to the highest bidder.  Maybe it will be used to span an open pit mine in China, or be picked up by North Korea and renamed the “Bridge to Kim Jong Il’s Ego” or possibly sold to the Middle Eastern Museum of Infidel Artifacts. These guys have MONEY, andJ. G. Wentworthisn’t answering St. John’s calls.

Besides, taking apart the bridge will employ hundreds of workers for many months.  The hookers of St. John’s will rejoice.   Think about it.  Get back to me.

Or…. maybe you don’t want to dismantle the St. John’s bridge.  You like it where it is?  Then be thankful…  Thanksgiving, remember?

Because tomorrow, the “Seasonal Decorations” go up and I shudder to think of the bridge covered in Wal-Mart wreaths and bubble blowing plastic Santas.  I’m thankful that it looks fine just the way it is.  Don’t muck with it, City Council — This means you, Bambi!

that's all--