Valerie flees to Confusistan

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This chapter of the ongoing saga of Stan and Valerie is brought to you by the Six of Swords and The Moon

Stan’s joints had completely relaxed from the afterglow of an Iron Man session of orgasms. He lay there until way passed sun-up under the willow at the St. John’s Bridge.

Moving slowly so he could get his muscles to pull his joints back into shape, he got up, took a piss, turned back and took a few breaths. “mmm, Valerie is gone. Probably off to the outhouse a few hundred yards away.”

He waits and picks up his duffle, and notices Valerie’s Tag:SVTower:note}}}

He collapses in a hurricane of emotions. It knocks him against the giant bridge support that forms the shelter of their willow sanctuary.

He collects his thoughts: “What the fuck? Did I say something? Oh, god. She’s gone. She says she loves me, but what? The? Fuck? How could she do this? What to do? I gotta call her now.”

His cell phone is dead. And the goddamned keyboard on his netbook is acting up again. And there is no wi-fi down at the bridge.

Resolved to figure out what Valerie really wants, he trudges up the hill to the public library. It is October, with vivid colors and scents. Why did she pick now to leave? What does she mean she loves me, that she would do this??

Logging into the Library’s computer, he uses his Twitter account to send a text to Valerie’s cell phone.

S — Love you baby, why you go? No stay? Come Back, Help! I’m drowning!!

He waits. He can’t wait. He sends another.

S — Did I say anything? Do anything? I’m sorry, sorry.

Finally the answers starts to come back.

V — Oooo you sexy man. I’mmmm on the Greyhound to far away. I miss you. I’m in crazy moon-goddess mode, I know, but you gotta listen.

V — No love of my life, it is not what you have done or said that sends me away. I am holding you back from what you could do to be fabulous.

V — Hey, don’t firebomb me. I’m texting now. Just wait a few, it will be OK.

V — You could be fabulous. I’m just another mouth for you to feed and you can get ahead much faster. And sweetie, do you want to get our life working sooner or later? I vote for sooner. Why would you vote for later?

S — But don’t you love me?

V — Yes, sweetie, I do love you, but why would you vote for later?

S — But it’s working now!

V — Yeah, sure. Yippee — We get to sleep outdoors! Kind of like camping in town. It’s kinky at best. Not a good place to have great sex. BTW, did you like it??

S — Oh, my Gawd. Never better.

V — You just let me figure how to play with your erector set. I love getting you off, and nobody else, I do good work. But seriously, think about this: after you fell asleep, even the fire-truck passing by didn’t wake you. What if some bad guys heard us having fun. You would not be much protection for me, would you? The thought scares me.

V — I don’t want to be scared like that around you. ever. I like being loud.

S — Where are you getting all this? From Dr Phil?? Sounds like crap.

V — I told you: I’m in crazy moon-goddess mode — it may be crap, but it’s MY crap and I’m sticking to it. So there, Bzzzzt.

S — So the moon told you to do this?

V — Yes, and an ogre. Maybe a moon-ogre. And said it would work out for both of us, my man, Stan.

S — And so you have gone to Confusi-Stan. what should I do?

V — I want you to be confident, competent and prosperous being the you that you truly are. You do that, and everything else is a breeze. Hurry, tell me how it goes! I’m your biggest fan.

S — My hour at the library is up. I’ll get my netbook working so we can talk, OK?

V — I’ll be waiting for you to get on-line. I think of you all the time. Huge love to you. XOXOXO. IWYDIMN.

At the last, most universal “GO” signal Stan can acknowledge, he considers his options:

It doesn’t matter why she is doing this. She says she wants me. OK, What do I really want? And do they serve beer there?

that's all--